Every single action we take is both creative and destructive at the same time - depending on our perspective.
If I want to make a chair, I must cut down the tree.
If I drive my car, I burn fossil fuels.
Even simply raising my hand, I’m still going to use energy.
It’s the first law of thermodynamics - the energy is always conserved, it can only change form. There’s no right or wrong in that.
But this polarisation in perspective is why, as a society, we are so often in disagreement - and why I try to move away from considering things as right or wrong. While of course there are terrible, unacceptable acts that most of us would agree should be fought and resisted, thing usually aren’t so clear cut and, in most cases, we’re actually arguing about perspective.
Cutting down a tree to make a chair is a bad thing if I’m an environmentalist. It’s a positive if I’m a manufacturer.
A more meaningful approach might be to consider whether my actions are sustainable, regenerative, inclusive and life-giving, or extractive, draining, divisive and disempowering. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to do the latter while feeling justified because of a perspective I hold.
“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind” - Mahatma Gandhi
There are no true winners if we fight to be right. We should fight for life. The more I become aware of the ever-present, destructive aspect of my choices, the more I can choose options that balance for life, or find ways to build sustainability and regeneration into my actions. Collectively we need a mindset shift towards how we can put more into the system than we take out, with less focus on fighting the old - instead building the new.
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Thanks for reading.
James Garside is a psychotherapist and men’s group facilitator based in Kettering, Northants. To enquire about psychotherapy services in-person or online over Zoom, get in touch.